TALE OF THE TAPE

RG3’s Knee Vs. The Fiscal Cliff: Which Wintertime Disaster Will Screw Washington Longer?

Ok team! A couple pieces of news happened in Washington recently, and for the love of all things holy we can’t understand either one. So today, we’re going to do a comprehensive study of both RG3’s crippling knee injury and the recent Fiscal Cliff deal, and try to see which of the two is set to have a more devastating effect on Washington DC.

RGIII's Knee
The Fiscal Cliff
Wild Card Playoffs - Seattle Seahawks v Washington Redskins
US-POLITICS-ECONOMY
Wait, wait, wait. What happened?!
Winner According to CBSSports.com, "a direct repair" of the lateral collateral ligament and "a re-do of [Griffin's] previous ACL reconstruction."
Winner Per Forbes, “[T]he current 10/15/25/28/33/35% individual tax rate brackets [will revert] to the pre-2001 rates of 15/28/31/36/39.6%."
I see. In English?
Winner The most exciting player in the NFL shredded his leg.
Winner Your taxes are going up something fierce.
AUGH! NO! What!? Why?!
Winner Well, let's be honest. It's the Washington Redskins. They had something like this coming to them sooner or later.
Winner I don't...know. I don't think anyone knows. It was a bunch of people on both sides fighting and now we have a deal that nobody's really happy with, and everyone's paying more money.
WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?!
Winner A lot of people seem to think Mike Shanahan waited a little too long to pull RG3 out of the game.
Winner A lot of people think that John Boehner waited a little too long to...heh...heh heh..."Boehner."
So what are the long term implications?
Winner Long term? RG3 will be fine. He's expected to make a full recovery.
Winner Hell if I know. But it sounds like the deficit will reduce, so...it's better?
And the short term implications?
Winner If RG3's recovery is delayed, you're stuck with the respectable - but severely non-thrilling - Kirk Cousins.
Winner You have less money to drink your face off at Kirk Cousin-led games.

We'll Just Call it a Tie

Wild Card Playoffs - Seattle Seahawks v Washington Redskins US-POLITICS-ECONOMY

Nobody. Nobody is the winner. Unless you're a fan of the Giants, Eagles or Cowboys. Otherwise everyone’s poor and bored.

MORE TALES OF THE TAPE

  1. (Photo by Justin Edmonds/Getty Images) (Photo by John Grieshop/Getty Images)
    Tale Of The Tape: Denver Broncos At Cincinnati Bengals

    Peyton Manning took a big shot to his upper leg in the Broncos’ Week 16 victory over the Chargers and had to come out of the game, but he came back and performed adequately.

  2. (Photo by Peter Aiken/Getty Images) (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)
    Tale Of The Tape: Seattle Seahawks At Arizona Cardinals

    The Seahawks are streaking at the right time of the year and they appear to have gotten a big break since the Cardinals are down to their third- and fourth-string quarterbacks.

  3. (Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images) (Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)
    Tale Of The Tape: Indianapolis Colts At Dallas Cowboys

    The Colts had no difficulty clinching the AFC South title despite starting the season with consecutive losses, and they have lofty goals ahead.

See All Tales of the Tape
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 34,973 other followers