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Chris Stigall: Hey, Liberals: May I Have a Second?

PHILADELPHIA (CBS) — Jimmy Kimmel’s crying. Stephen Colbert is going on blue rants. Public school principals are swearing at pro-life kids on public sidewalks. The new chairman of the DNC is swearing at… everyone. Colleges are rioting. Why, exactly?

Seriously, you liberal lunatics – what in the name of Hillary Clinton is your problem?

I understand you’re still convinced we’re headed for some kind of political apocalypse. But I ask you the same thing I asked the day after Trump was elected. What’s he done to you? What’s he going to do to you?

Don’t give me platitudes about things you can’t measure. Don’t recite talking points from some activist group or politician who tells you what he MIGHT do, or what COULD happen. Be honest. Use your brain. Think for yourself. Take stock of your own life and ask yourself, “Has my life changed or been directly impacted in any way by the election of Donald Trump?”

You know the only honest answer is “no.”

No. He hasn’t done a damned thing to you. In fact, if you’re to be really honest with yourself he’s surprisingly willing to make Democrats happy, much to my chagrin.

He’s mean to the media? Stop it. Have you seen the polling on news media in this country? They’re more universally loathed and mistrusted than members of Congress. Stop acting like the press corps is your little brother or sister on the playground you have to defend from a bully. You don’t like them any more than Trump does.

Know what else? President Trump’s willing to host a parade of some of the most hostile media right through the Oval Office. Even the guy who heads the White House Correspondents Association admitted this week Trump is an open book with the press.

Trump’s not hiding. He’s not calling only on certain media outlets. He’s talking. He’s talking a lot. He’s talking to his detriment if you ask me. But let’s not pretend he’s Nixon, or Obama. Trump loves jousting with the media. If they’re not man or woman enough to take what they throw at him and still do their job, perhaps it’s time you found a new, adult source for your news.

Do you have a 401K or some kind of investment? Have you checked your statement since Trump was sworn in? What a disaster! You’ve had dramatic gains in personal wealth. You want to give your new profits back to the U.S. Treasury in protest?

Didn’t think so.

Are you of the LGBT community? Can you still get married? Have you been loaded into a boxcar and sent off to a camp? Can you still use the bathroom of your choice at Trump Tower as he promised? Has President Trump said one syllable about his intention to alter your lifestyle or freedoms in one, single way? Go ahead, I’m listening.

Radical feminist? Nobody’s forced you to shave, or put on a skirt, or stop hating everyone with a penis, or take off your knitted vagina hat. You can still abort babies at your favorite Planned Parenthood butchery. All’s well!

How about all those dramatic spending cuts to your favorite government program? Is your government transfer payment check still coming to your mailbox? Are your favorite law breaking sanctuary cities still receiving federal funds? Can you still continue to exploit illegal aliens for your cheap labor and future voter roll altering needs?

Yes, yes, and yes again!

Yes, good liberals – you’ve got it pretty good. Everything you always had you’re still getting from the government overlords you so worship. The good news for you is we have a Republican Party in total control. So, basically – Democrats with better manners.

Most GOP rank-and-file have shown us they have little appetite to fight for most things their base elected them to champion. They’ve decided currying favor with the media and Democrats is the easiest path forward, at least for now.

So Kimmel, dry your tears. Colbert – maybe a little class? Liberal school administrators, teachers, and students – go back to your safe space mat.

We conservatives should be screaming, and crying, and swearing. But we’re not. We’re engaging in the arena of ideas as we always have. We’ll show up on campuses to speak. We’ll take to our radio shows to explain our positions. We’ll run for office to continue making our cases to the voters.

Maybe that’s what it is for you liberals when it comes right down to it. Your ideas aren’t popular when put to a vote. Multiple elections, including the most recent one, have proven it overwhelmingly. Maybe it’s not anger at all. It’s the fear of never winning elected office again that has you acting like little, fascist brats.

That, I understand. But for now, just relax, liberals. The GOP is in charge.

So shut the hell up, take a deep breath, and be happy you’re still getting everything you want.

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