Grand Imperial Poobah: Trading Places With Ryan Howard
By Stan “The Grand Imperial Poobah” Hochman
PHILADELPHIA (CBS) — (Editor’s Note) Stan Hochman, a Daily News sports columnist for 55 years, has been appearing on 94WIP’s morning show for over a year now, settling disputes (and starting new ones) as the “Grand Imperial Poobah.” He brings that persona to CBSPhilly.com/poobah on Tuesdays and Thursdays and we welcome input on which issues you want the Poobah to take a good, hard look at. Send requests and ideas for The Poobah to WIPpoobah@gmail.com.
Without further ado, here’s The Poobah.
People: Ryan Howard, weary of the criticism he has reaped lately, asked some sportswriters if they’d like to trade places with him? Would you?
Poobah: In a New York minute. I get his paycheck, he gets mine. I get his mended Achilles tendon, he gets my 50-year older arthritic hip. He gets the two bedroom house in Wynnewood, I get the mansion in Florida with $80,000 worth of doorknobs. Let’s get real here, he wouldn’t have suggested that swap in 2008 when the Phillies were beloved, and he was on his way to a World Series ring.
He misses the whole point here. Fans trade places all the time. Vicariously investing their emotions in the success or failure of star athletes. Play well and the fan is joyous, play poorly and the sadness can get bitter. The Phillies have been pitiful this year and Howard, mired in a woeful slump, was benched against Tim Hudson, a right-hander he has bashed in the past. He was upset and angry, and he said something really dumb. The poobah forgives him and you should too.
He gets to keep the doorknobs, extravagant and ostentatious. If you want a second opinion…they’re ugly too.
You can hear Stan “The Grand Imperial Poobah” Hochman on the 94WIP Morning Show every Thursday at 7:20am E.T. Send the Philadelphia sports issues you want The Poobah to tackle to WIPpoobah@gmail.com