Suicide Watch Week 12: Zombie Suicide Watch Goes With The Lions
By Justin Boylan
PHILADELPHIA (CBS) – Back in week 7, I wrote about the lack of teams you can trust with your life in the Suicide Pool, and that trend hasn’t changed. There are 15 teams that are currently 4-6 or worse, and another four stuck at .500.
Add that to the fact that you have already used 11 teams, which probably include a few, if not all, of the big four with two or one loss, and I am not at all envious of the 267 poor souls still swimming towards the big prize.
Life as a zombie on the watch isn’t so bad. As it turns out, the Suicide Pool is much calmer from the outside looking in. I wasn’t stressed out watching the Texans lose to a Penn State alumnus or seeing the Jets continue their incredible run as the odd-even-win-lose inconsistent team of the century (of course, with the bye week, the pattern has now flipped to odd-even-lose-win).
It was a worry-free Sunday afternoon full of rain in Chicago, Rainey in Tampa Bay and Shady ripping down Washington flags because this is Eagles country.
Speaking of, the Eagles are finally off. This will give the fans with Philly blinders a chance to see the rest of the NFC (excluding Seattle, who is also on the bye). It’s important to familiarize yourself with these teams because one of them will be heading to The Linc for wildcard weekend when the Eagles host a playoff game as 8-8 (maybe 9-7) division champs. What a great sentence, I had to do it.
Zombie Selection – Lions vs. Buccaneers
The Lions are the healthiest team in their division but can’t seem to separate themselves from the pack, which makes Aaron Rodgers happy during his rehab sessions. They blew a great opportunity in Pittsburgh last week, scoring 17 straight points to take the lead at halftime, only to get outscored 17-0 in the second half.
Mike Glennon is going to have beat Detroit with his arm, like Big Ben did, and I don’t see it happening. Vegas has the Lions as nine-point favorites, which seems high because, remember, you can’t trust anybody. I’d take the points, but Detroit wins.
Best Bet for Survival – 49ers at Redskins
ESPN was so excited for this one three months ago. RG3 and Colin Kaepernick star in The Future is Now: The Battle of Rising Stars. Not so much.
San Fran isn’t about to drop three straight games, and only Kaep gets to play against Washington’s defense. That’s my analysis. Take the Niners.
Cheating Death – Jets at Ravens
The odd-even-lose-win Jets! And it’s an even week! This team is hilarious. They beat the Saints and Patriots, but lost to the Titans and Bengals by a combined score of 87-22. I would love to see a running total of all the money lost this season on bets for and against the Jets, depending on the week.
The Ravens have been just an inconsistent, and have trouble closing games. Five of their last six games have been decided by a field goal or less, and they are 2-3 in those five games.
I like the Jets this week, but what do I know about cheating death. I’m already dead.
Justin Boylan is a producer at 94WIP and graduate of Temple University. You can email him at email@example.com and follow him on Twitter @justintboylan.