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Philly Top Five Power Rankings: Philly Loses Bryz, Donovan Loses Me

Donovan McNabb's Birthday is November 25th
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By Spike Eskin

PHILADELPHIA (CBS) – Never have we done more with less than this week. Not one Philadelphia sports team played a meaningful game, and we still had ridiculous story after ridiculous story. Maybe the teams will see this and save a little money by not actually play the games at all. It is an added expense and hasn’t result in much success lately.

With that, the rankings:

5. Charlie Manuel threatens to beat up Howard Eskin… again.

It’s 2007, and I’m living in Chicago. I hear a yell from a co-worker who says, “hey Spike, is this your dad?!” There is a story on national news that Charlie Manuel has invited Howard Eskin to his office so he could teach him a lesson. Though my co-worker was stunned, it just seemed normal to me. “This sort of stuff happens all the time,” I told him.

Fast forward to Friday night, and once again The King pesters Manuel into a threat of physical violence. I sat down with Charlie a few months back at Ponzio’s and asked him about the ’07 confrontation. “What would have happened if you two had actually fought,” I asked Charlie. “I wouldn’t have lost,” he responded. Something tells me someday we’ll be lucky enough to find out.

4. NCAA tells Chip Kelly not to come back for 18 months, after he signed a five-year deal

We all remember boarding the Gus Bus, together chanting “DO YOUR JOB!” It seemed like we were just seconds away from Gus Bradley becoming the next head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles. Then Chip Kelly had a change of heart, swooped in, and stole his thunder (first time, long time).

Kelly said he just had some time to think about it, and had a change of heart. Then word came out that Oregon was going to face NCAA sanctions for recruiting violations. They finally faced those sanctions, which included an 18 month show-cause penalty for Kelly, which essentially makes it difficult for Kelly to go back to coaching college football for a year and a half.

A pretty hefty penalty for a guy who just signed a five-year, $32 million contract. That’ll sure teach college coaches not to break rules and then go make more money in the NFL.

3. Adam Aron is out as Sixers CEO… or he isn’t

Adam Aron goes Twitter-silent for a couple of months, after being Twitter noisy for a couple of years. Then the afforementioned Howard Eskin reports and the Inquirer’s Keith Pompey confirms that Aron is “out” as Sixers CEO.

The Sixers issue a no-comment for seven hours, then say Aron is still CEO. I’m not sure about you, but if you ask me who my boss is, I’d imagine I could find a satisfactory answer pretty quickly.

Then came Aron’s tweets:

@SixersCEOAdam: Just minutes ago, I got off a plane from vacation in Africa and saw press reports. A la Mark Twain, rumors of my demise greatly exaggerated

@SixersCEOAdam: I’m delighted to report that this is an immensely exciting time in my career. Moral of story: don’t go on a faraway vacation!

The second one is classic, because it’s the same thing I said to everyone when I got fired from WYSP. I was so excited for all of the choice and opportunity I had in my career!

Adam has always been nice to me, and I’ve got no idea whether he’ll have the same job or not. I’m just excited because he’s excited.

2. Bryzgalov gets amnestied, then releases the best statement ever

It wasn’t terribly surprising that Ilya Bryzgalov got bought out by the Flyers. He didn’t play well enough, and he probably brought too much attention to the team for the wrong reasons (even though I loved him).

Then he released a statement, that was your typical “I loved the team and thanks for the money,” type of thing. Until the end. Which looks like this:

FOR FURTHER COMMENT, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO WALK UP TO ILYA BRYZGALOV NEXT YEAR AT TRAINING CAMP. HE AND HIS ADVISORS WILL HAVE NO FURTHER COMMENT UNTIL THAT TIME.

I didn’t put it in all caps for effect, that’s how it was written. Feel free to walk up to Bryz next year at training camp? Anyone? What training camp? Will he only speak in person and not on the phone? All I know is that wherever Bryz is next year, I’m going to walk up to him.

1. Donovan McNabb tweets the most ridiculous (best) tweet of all time

I’ve always been a fan of Donovan McNabb. A defender through thick and thin. I went to Syracuse University when McNabb was there, and have cheered for him ever since.

I couldn’t help myself to pounce on him after last night’s tweet.

COULD this be the end? You mean a murder one rap? Yeah man, I think it’s probably safe to say the rest of his career is in question, unless he’s filming a football version of Stallone’s Victory.

Yes, I know Ray Lewis is playing in the NFL. Somehow I think he’s probably the exception rather than the rule. I think there are probably more pressing and debatable questions than Aaron Hernandez’s football career.

I’m not sure whether it is Donovan or his people who are tweeting for him, but whomever it is needs to stop.

Some other suggested tweets for Donovan:

Follow Spike on Twitter @SpikeEskin

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