Worst Loss Ever
By: Andy Wheeler
I feel like I can finally talk about it. It’s been a few days. While the wound is still a little raw, I feel like I can share with you the story of the worst loss of my fantasy career.
I went into Monday night’s game, up 1.2 points. I had nobody left, while my opponent had kicker Shayne Graham as his only player. So going in, I assumed I was going to lose without even worrying about it. One field goal and my season is over.
This was a very unfortunate season for me in this league. I had an outstanding draft from the 7th position and my team performed like it all year. 6 times I scored over 100 points, 3 times in the 90’s. All this while being first or 2nd in points for most of the season. Somehow I ended with a 6-7 record.
That to me speaks to the kind of luck I had. NONE! Yet I still made it to the playoffs while winning my division. That was about the only luck I came up with.
As the season came to a close, my injury woes were out of control. I lost MaGahee and McCoy the same week. The next week, Desean Jackson and Kendal Hunter went down for the season. Not that Hunter would have cracked the lineup but my point is made.
So it was off to the waiver wire. I needed healthy bodies.
I had to start Montell Owens and Nate Washington in round 1 of the playoffs which should tell you just how desperate things were. My final lineup tuning came down to a choice. Between David Wilson and newly acquired Brandon Myers who had just blown up for 14 catches and 130 yards and a score.
I chose Myers instead of Wilson of course who had the best game of his career…otherwise this isn’t an article you would read.
A few months ago I ended up in a facebook argument with my sister. The argument basically centered on the “Fantasy Gods” and not angering them. They are a fickle and devastatingly cruel bunch.
For a long time I have upset fantasy owners in my leagues telling them not to anger “The Gods”. I’ve even done crazy things like reverse jinxing myself to potentially build enough karma with them as to create myself a victory.
All that sounds nuts of course, but I’m not against making minor sacrifices to ensure myself a victory.
Well I made the massive blooper of all bloopers and insulted the “Fantasy Gods” in such a manner that I’ll never make the same mistake again. Let me explain.
I was out with some friends and I happened to glance up at the TV and see that the Patriots were actually shutting out the Texans around half time. This would have been the miracle win of all time! I quickly left to go home and watch the game in silence and privacy.
Then Houston scores a touchdown and with the extra point, I lead by .2!!!!!! Isn’t that amazing? I’m thinking I’m going to be able to pull this out and win by the smallest score I can ever remember.
This is when I totally screwed up. I texted our Commissioner and my buddy to say “Did you see my score!!!?” For the next few minutes texts were exchanged as to what a crazy win this was. All that was left was for the Pats to run out the clock. I even made mention of emailing the owner I was about to beat and apologizing.
Ryan Mallet trying a short pass gets intercepted by Shiloh Keo and ends up at the 25 yard line. Immediately I felt the bottom drop out of my stomach. This is either a field goal or touchdown.
However, then I began to negotiate myself into being positive. I thought, “Technically they should be going for the touchdown no matter what AND going for 2. They are down by 35.”
Instead, that’s not the way it worked out. TJ Yates ran it in for the touchdown and then on came Shayne Graham for the extra point.
BOOM! A .8 loss! POINT 8!!!!
I was reminded of a few very valuable lessons. 1. Never count your chickens before they have hatched. 2. Never count on a guy you’ve never heard of coming off a monster week that nobody else owns. Yes I’m looking right at you Brandon Myers you bum! 3. NEVER EVER EVER start to talk about your win or even pretend you’ve won until you’ve actually won…the Fantasy Gods are watching.
Follow me on twitter @TheAndyWheeler