By Spike Eskin

PHILADELPHIA (CBS) – Oh, this is so pathetic. Washington D.C. has a one-sided rivalry with us. I’m humoring them by even writing about it.

If you remember correctly, Phillies fans have filled Nationals Park for the last couple of years because tickets were, well, easy to get. You see the Phillies are a good team, whereas the Nationals have been known as a bad team. Because of this, no one in the D.C. area has been all that interested in Nationals tickets.

Then, after openly marketing their tickets to Phillies fans for those years, the Nationals decided they didn’t want to look foolish anymore. So they instituted a sad program called Take Back The Park, that tried to keep Nationals tickets for Nationals fans (wherever they are). So they looked … foolish anyway.

No need for the Nationals to feel bad though, because they’re not alone. A simple search of Stub Hub shows many tickets available for the Wizards game on March 30th against the Sixers at the Verizon Center for as low as $4. No, I didn’t forget any zeroes. F-O-U-R dollars. I guess we should feel honored, because Wizards games against the Pistons and Pacers have tickets available for as low as $2. That’s right T-W-O dollars.

And now, now it gets worse. We have “Forget You Philly.” This is a contest from a sports talk radio station in D.C. called 106.7 The Fan (actually a fellow CBS Radio station).To be honest, I’m not entirely sure how a sports talk station exists down there. Last time I checked on the Redskins were looking through our trash for old quarterbacks, the Wizards lose just about every game (when they’re not firing coaches just being Javale McGee), the Caps are a terrible disappointment with a fading star, and the Nats … how’s Jayson Werth working out?

In any case, “Forget You Philly” (F-U Philly! Get it?!), is a contest in which fans are supposed to express in a video how much they hate Philly. The winners get tickets to the Phillies vs. Nats series in May. The first HUNDRED entries win. Take Back The Park must be going well. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, they give away $126 million contracts too. There is a V.I.P. prize as well, one can only hope it involves going to something other than a Nationals game.

A great rivalry is a special thing, my friends in Washington. To have one, you need competitive teams, and fans that care. It’s a shame you guys are 0-2.

F-U Philly? Yawn. Maybe next time.

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