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Starring In "Grownups": The French World Cup Team

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raymond domenech Starring In "Grownups": The French World Cup TeamAnyone who’s ever been to a high school sports event knows the mantra, keep the bus running. In other words, this bludgeoning won’t take long so you guys can leave early. In the case of the French World Cup soccer team, they kept the bus ready and the plane running. After the French were beaten by host nation South Africa, 2-1, they couldn’t leave fast enough. It was such an embarrassing turn of events that French soccer officials had a bus outside the stadium immediately whisk their team away to the airport, where they were “scolded” by being sent home by coach.

But France couldn’t just slink away back to beautiful Paris without a peep. Nooooooo, they had to do it with panache. France will long be remembered in this 2010 World Cup for a.) having its coach, Raymond Domenech, blow off the South African coach and refuse to shake his hand after being eliminated from the World Cup; b) shedding a new ignominy on international sports by petulantly refusing to practice for Domenech, a clique of mutineers that defiantly stayed in their hotel rooms watching TV as the rest of the World Cup teams proudly prepared to represent themselves and their countries; c) having forward Nicolas Anelka publicly go bananas on Domenech with an expletive-laden tirade during a loss to Mexico.

The characters Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Kevin James, Rob Schneider, and David Spade play in the movie Grownups have nothing on this crew.

To cynical adults, Team France has been a great source of inspiration, one of the world’s finest comedy troupes going. I’m almost sad to see them go, because I was honestly waiting to see the next inane thing these kicking and screaming millionaires would do next.

Poor South Africa. They became the first World Cup host in history to fail to reach the second round. But they really could take solace in the French, afterall, the crystal clear embarrassment belongs to them. France does earn–deservedly so–one award: For greatest example  unsportsmanlike behavior on the world’s grandest stage, we present to you the French 2010 World Cup team.

Perhaps in 2014, the French can get a pee-wee coach to guide this slew of egomaniacal stars that you would expect more from, considering they play for such stellar clubs teams as Barcelona, Manchester United, Chelsea and Arsenal. Don’t you have to expect more from such high-level professionals? All they had shown were that they were children in grown men’s bodies. In fact, kindergarten children would have probably behaved better than this lot. Team France was arrogant, childish, temperamental and boorish. They were pampered stars who wanted their way, and when they didn’t receive immediate gratification, they collectively and angrily grabbed their soccer balls and went home.

First by a waiting bus, then by coach.

South African soccer fans didn’t need to yell “start the bus” afterall. The French soccer federation already had the plane on the tarmac warming up.

World ridicule couldn’t come to a more deserving group of children. I raise my glass of Merlot to you France.

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