Suicide Watch: Week 5
*Reminder: The 94WIP Suicide Pool homepage is CBSPhilly.com/suicidepool
PHILADELPHIA (CBS) --- If you thought we would have back-to-back weeks without a widespread decimation in the Suicide Pool, think again. Here is Tampa Bay Bucs quarterback Mike Glennon, emotional, after leading his team to its first win of the season:
"So I started to walk onto the field. I won't lie to you boys I was terrified. But I pressed on, and as I made my way to the huddle a strange calm came over me. I don't know if it was divine intervention or the kinship of all living things, but I tell you, at that moment I was a NFL starting quarterback."
(Interrupted by reporters. Someone in the back shouts, "Come on, Mike, finish the story.")
"The Steelers were angry that day, my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli. I got about five steps back in the pocket, and suddenly the great Louis Murphy appeared before me. I tell you he was 10-stories high if he was a foot. As if sensing time was running out my teammates let out a great bellow. I said, easy big fellas! And then, as I watched them struggling to line up, I realized that I could spike the ball. From where I was standing I could see directly into the eyes of the great Vinnie Jackson. (Vincent.) Whatever. Then, from out of nowhere, it was 3rd down and I found myself with 12 seconds left in the game. Face to face with defeat. I could barely see from the Pittsburgh defensive line crashing down upon me, but I knew someone was open. So I set my feet, looked around for an open receiver and pulled out the victory!"
And so goes 1,128 of the 1,779 competitors knocked out in week 4. Remember this face.
That's a face to be reckoned with. It's a face that knows no fear and the face of death. But most importantly, it's not Josh McCown's face.
Guardian Selection – Lions vs. Bills
Yes, I had the Steelers in this spot last week. And yes, the Bills were the team that knocked me out back in week 1. I just can't learn. One more bad beat and this guardian is going to turn grim reaper.
The Bills have moved on from 24-year-old EJ Manuel in favor of classy veteran Kyle Orton, who's 3-6 in nine starts since 2011. This isn't the week for Kyle to get back on the horse, in Detroit against a defense that's second in DVOA. The Lions can't afford to drop a game like this and fall back into the crowd with the rest of the NFC North.
Best Bet for Survival – Packers vs. Vikings (or Vikings at Packers) Nah, Packers vs. Vikings
These Thursday nights have been massacres, one way or another. Just make sure you are on the right side.
Minnesota knocked a bunch out of the pool with their win over the Falcons last week. They looked good doing it with rookie Teddy Bridgewater behind the wheel, but young Ted hasn't practiced this week with a sprained ankle. The Vikings are confident he'll be ready, but if not, it's Christian Ponder time.
The Packers offense is still smoking from Sunday in Chicago. Aaron Rodgers led seven drives and six ended in points (and one missed field goal). Relax, go Pack.
Cheating Death – Buccaneers at Saints
Magic Mike Glennon will beat the Saints. It's not a lie if you believe it.
Stay alive.
Justin Boylan is a producer at 94WIP. Follow him on Twitter @justintboylan.
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