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Tale of the tape

NFL

  1. Philadelphia Eagles v Jacksonville Jaguars New York Jets v New York Giants
    Tale Of The Tape: Philadelphia Eagles At New York Giants

    Michael Vick has put good numbers on the board in the first quarter of the season, but there is something missing as his team has lost three in a row after an opening victory.

  2. elicredit2.jpg boxingcredit2.jpg
    The Giants Losing To Carolina Vs. Little Mac Losing To Glass Joe In “Punch-Out”

    Perhaps the most lopsided battle in video game sports is that of Little Mac vs. Glass Joe – the first fight in Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out! If done correctly, skilled players can knock the beans out of Joe in 42 seconds, flat. Unskilled players can still take him out before three rounds are up. And unskilled players who think too much would wonder – why is a French guy named “Joe”?

    In any case, we here at CBS wondered, what was a more lopsided matchup (and subsequent surprising defeat): Mac vs. Joe? Or the recent Super Bowl champion New York Giants vs. the mostly hapless Carolina Panthers? Let’s go to the tape. Please note that the “winner” of each category is the more humiliating option:

  3. natecredit1.jpg digiornocredit1.jpg
    One Broken Arm Later: Nate Burleson’s Pizza Vs. DiGiorno (It’s Not Delivery)

    Detroit Lions’ wide receiver Nate Burleson is great at receiving both deftly thrown footballs and emergency roadside medical treatment. Recently, he crashed his car into a Jersey barrier after dropping a slice of pizza around 2:30 in the morning. Apparently there was no hooch in his system, it’s just that he was being a big ol’ bag of dum-dum lollipops. The question that we at CBS can’t help but ask: would he have been better off cooking himself a DiGiorno frozen pizza? Let’s go to the tape.

  4. eaglescredit1.jpg broncoscredit6.jpg
    Tale Of The Tape: Philadelphia Eagles At Denver Broncos

    The Eagles started the season in explosive fashion vs. the Redskins in Week One, but they have struggled since then.

  5. New York Jets v New England Patriots "The Dark Knight Rises" New York Premiere - Inside Arrivals
    New England Patriots Vs. The Dark Knight Rises

    2012’s The Dark Knight Rises was met with extraordinary expectations. Similarly, the 2013 Patriots entered the season highly regarded – as they do every year that both T-Brads and Bill Belichick are on staff.

  6. Kansas City Chiefs v Pittsburgh Steelers Philadelphia Eagles v Jacksonville Jaguars
    Tale Of The Tape: Kansas City Chiefs At Philadelphia Eagles

    Much will be made of Andy Reid’s return to Philadelphia, but the former Eagles coach will not be playing. It will be on his players and no one will have more to do with the outcome than Alex Smith.