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TALE OF THE TAPE

Barack Obama Vs. Robert Griffin III

These days, the “face” of Washington DC is a young upstart with sky- high expectations. But are we talking about Barack Obama or Robert Griffin III? Hell, even we don’t know. Things didn’t wrap up until 2 AM on Tuesday. We’re tired. Give us a break.

Barack Obama
Robert Griffin III
US President Barack Obama arrives on stage after winning the 2012 US presidential election November 7, 2012 in Chicago, Illinois.  Obama swept to re-election, forging history again by defying the dragging economic recovery and high unemployment which haunted his first term to beat Republican Mitt Romney. (Credit: SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images)
Washington Redskins v Pittsburgh Steelers
US President Barack Obama arrives on stage after winning the 2012 US presidential election November 7, 2012 in Chicago, Illinois. Obama swept to re-election, forging history again by defying the dragging economic recovery and high unemployment which haunted his first term to beat Republican Mitt Romney. (Credit: SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images)
Expectations
Winner Since the Redskins lost last week, Obama was supposed to lose the popular vote (if you believe in that kind of voodoo).
Winner Was supposed to be a wide receiver. Or a smile model. Seriously! Best smile in the NFL, you guys!
Initials
B.O. ...oh.
Winner Cool sounding nickname. Almost like a robot. "RG3." Neat!
Plan
Winner Ran on a "Forward!" strategy.
Strategy: move forward by running. Also: passing.
Gives Hope?
Winner A little less now than in week one, but…sure.
Winner A little less now than in week one, but…sure.
Remarkable Quote About Work
Winner “By itself, the recognition that we have common hopes and dreams won’t end all the gridlock or solve all our problems or substitute for the painstaking work of building consensus and making the difficult compromises needed to move this country forward.” – Acceptance Speech, November 7, 2012
Winner “This moment right here, it's unbelievably believable. It's unbelievable because in the moment, we're all amazed when great things happen. It's believable because great things only happen with hard work.” – Heisman Trophy Acceptance Speech
January Plans
Probably getting yelled at by someone. Also, preparing for his 2nd term.
Winner Could be in the playoffs. But most likely preparing for his 2nd term.
Friends With Jay-Z & Bruce Springsteen?
Winner Yes!
Nah.
Will Win Super Bowl In 4 Years?
HA!
Winner ...er...maybe?

The Winner Is

Washington Redskins v Pittsburgh Steelers
Winner Robert Griffin III
6 out of 8

RG3 Wins!

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