Fantasy wunderkind and all-around decent guy Andre Johnson just did something pretty nifty. He purchased over $17,000 worth of toys for children in Child Protective Services. It’s an awfully kind gesture, especially during the holiday season. But how does Johnson stack up against the ultimate gift giver, Santa Claus? Let’s go to the tape:
Tale of the tape
Andre Johnson Vs. Santa Claus – How Does He Match Up To St. Nick?
|4.41 Seconds||40 Time?||I mean...one estimate has St. Nick traveling at roughly 5.6 million miles per hour (in order to deliver all those presents) so...whatever 40 yards of that is. A blink, essentially.|
|A svelte 227 pounds.||Weight?||Probably more than that.|
|5 this year (really? That feels low). 61 overall (that too).||Receiving TDs this year?||None?|
|$17,352||Estimated value of Presents||Millions and millions|
|Yep!||Is he real?||Who’s asking? Where are your parents?|
|...I’M GONNA BE RICH!||Reaction to seeing mommy kissing him?||Set it to a song!|
|Stranger! I’m calling the police right now.||Reaction when you hear him “Up on a rooftop, click-click-click”ing?||Weeeeeeee! Presents!|
The winner is
More Tales of the tape
National Championship Matchup: #8 Kentucky Vs. #7 Connecticut
No. 8-seeded Kentucky stunned No. 2-seeded Michigan in the Elite Eight and shut down Wisconsin’s Frank Kaminsky and the Badgers offense in the Final Four.
Semifinal Matchup: #8 Kentucky Vs. #2 Wisconsin
Wisconsin—who was overshadowed by other top Big Ten teams in the tournament in Michigan and Michigan State—is now the last man standing and hoping to win it all with the likes of big man, Frank Kaminsky.
Semifinal Matchup: #7 Connecticut Vs. #1 Florida
It was three years ago that Jim Calhoun led the UConn Huskies to the college basketball national championship. That Final Four included two of the teams in this year’s Final Four in UConn and Kentucky