Happy holidays. Since there’s only a handful of people left fighting for the hardware in the 94WIP Suicide Pool and the rest of you are either drunk off vacation days or reading up on Kyle Orton, I’m quite sure my target audience has shrunk significantly.
If any of the final 25 survivors of the 94WIP Suicide Pool got through the week on the Monday night squeaker between the Ravens and the Lions, send Justin Tucker a gift basket.
We are flying towards the end of the season and thus, the end of the 94WIP Suicide Pool. With three weeks to go, those left standing are close enough to taste victory but too far to feel the hot metal of a championship ring on their finger.
The 94WIP Suicide Pool is down to just 56 survivors with four weeks to go. If your pulse is still beating, odds are you don’t need any help from me, but here I am nonetheless.
Death has turned me cold. I’m like Frankie Carbone frozen in the back of the meat truck when it comes to my postmortem NFL picks. I’ve gone 0-2 (3-3 overall) since being knocked out of the Suicide Pool in week 10.
Back in week 7, I wrote about the lack of teams you can trust with your life in the Suicide Pool, and that trend hasn’t changed. There are 15 teams that are currently 4-6 or worse, and another four stuck at .500.
All week I was preparing for Carson Palmer to kill me. I had my Carson Palmer armor ready to go Sunday morning, and was fully protected to face the wrath of the roadblock game that was thrown in the middle of the road.
If I had to make a list of NFL players and coaches never to bet on, Carson Palmer and Wade Phillips would easily crack the top five.
Hey, congrats to those of you who are still with us. You’ve made it through eight weeks, and it’s on to the back nine. Many have failed to make it this far, whether by trusting the wrong quarterback on the road or thanks to a home team letdown, so take second to give yourself a high-five. You earned it.
Confession time: I was worried about my pick last week. For those who missed it, I had the Chargers on the road in Jacksonville. At the time, I was concerned about the Chargers’ inconsistent play (they hadn’t won back-to-back games), their short week combined with a trip across the country and a puzzling seven-point spread.
There have only been five teams in the league you can count on for survival. And I mean really count on. They rarely make you sweat, and when they do it’s only a temporary perspiration until they regain control of the game. These teams are the Broncos, Chiefs, Patriots, Seahawks and Saints.
For five weeks I’ve been walking on eggshells around the NFL schedule trying to avoid the landmine game that would blow me out of the 94WIP Suicide Pool.
I’m looking at five games in week 5 for us to pick from. Depending on which teams you’ve used to keep your pulse steady, your choice may differ. Or you could pick a different game entirely, who am I to stop you? If you are one of the more than 9,000 left above water that means you’re doing something right.
This moment was coming. It was only a matter of time. Some might have hoped it wouldn’t arrive as early as week 4, but it’s here. The Philadelphia Eagles are on the wrong side of the largest spread of the weekend, and (spoiler alert) my Best Bet for Survival pick.
Week 2 was a battle for most of us trying to survive.