By John Ostapkovich

PHILADELPHIA (CBS) — From annual reviews to impromptu guidance, feedback is part of many workplaces and relationships and often does nothing more than foster ill-will. Now, there may a solution.

Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well is the work of two leaders of the Harvard Negotiation Project. One of them, Sheila Heen, says most books focus on delivering feedback well, which she likens to a football team coaching the quarterback and ignoring the receivers.

“The receiver is in charge of what they let in and what they make of it and whether and how they chose to change and so in some cases it didn’t matter how skillful, or even persistent the giver was. That’s still a push model of learning and maybe we should be flip it and take a look at where the real leverage is.”

Heen says people on the receiving end of feedback may find it helpful to their need to learn and grow, but have to modulate it so as to still feel respected and accepted as they are.

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