Zombie Suicide Watch: Time To Drain The Pool
By Justin Boylan
PHILADELPHIA (CBS) – Happy holidays. Since there are only 19 left fighting for the hardware in the 94WIP Suicide Pool and the rest of you are either drunk off vacation days or reading up on Kyle Orton, I’m quite sure my target audience has shrunk significantly.
That’s okay. I’m going to run through some picks for you to chew on, but I’ll be brief. I’m still a little tipsy myself off the eggnog.
It’s been a blast following the pool for 17 weeks, and a preemptive and well-deserved congratulations to whoever ends up with the rock on their finger. The suicide pool is a lot harder than it looks. It will break your heart, your spirit and your soul, but it sure is fun! We started with over 26,000 survivors and it all comes down to this.
Zombie Selection – Giants vs. Redskins
It’s the other NFC East matchup this weekend that’s as worthless as that Borders Books gift card you got for Christmas. Here are two teams that can’t wait for the offseason, and the only way to pass the time is to play a football game.
The Redskins mailed in their season back in week 10, but the Giants still have some fight in them. They knocked the Lions out of the playoffs last week, and are staring down the chance to finish their miserable season at 7-9.
Seriously, how the hell are the Giants this close to a .500 season? They have a -103 point differential, a quarterback who is going for 30 interceptions, and are still going to end up just one game back of the Cowboys.
The Giants always finish strong, so that’s what I’m picking them to do.
Best Bet for Survival – Chargers vs. Chiefs
The Chargers were your typical average Chargers this year, but have won three straight and are gunning for that final wildcard spot.
You may have used them last week against the Raiders, or back in week 7 when they played Jacksonville, but if not, now is the time. The key to week 17 is finding the teams with something to play for. It especially helps when those teams are up against a team with nothing to play for. This game fits the bill.
The Chiefs are locked into the fifth playoff spot and there’s nothing to gain from putting the starters out there. If you are in a two-week fantasy football championship and counting on Jamaal Charles to bring it home, my condolences.
Big Red will likely play his second string from start to finish here and the Chargers won’t know they are eliminated from the playoffs until after the game.
Cheating Death – Cardinals vs. 49ers
This is the game of the week (that doesn’t include Aaron Rodgers’ collarbone or Jon Kitna). Arizona has won seven of their last eight games, but could miss the postseason at 11-5. No team is playing better defense right now than the Cardinals. Carson Palmer can throw four interceptions in a game and they still have a chance to win. It’s a beautiful thing.
They need a Tampa Bay miracle to get in, but it won’t stop them from capitalizing on the letdown potential facing San Fran after that dramatic Monday night win.
You could set all the presents under the tree on fire. All I want is Carson Palmer in a road playoff game (possibly in Philadelphia). Can we please make it happen?
Enjoy week 17. Time to drain the pool.
Justin Boylan is a producer at 94WIP and graduate of Temple University. You can email him at firstname.lastname@example.org and follow him on Twitter @justintboylan.