Eagles

Chip Kelly Sarcasm Report: ‘We’re Going To Cancel The Game’

PHILADELPHIA, PA - DECEMBER 1: Head coach Chip Kelly of the Philadelphia Eagles looks on in the fourth quarter during a game at Lincoln Financial Field on December 1, 2013 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The Eagles defeated the Cardinals 24-21. (Photo by Rich Schultz /Getty Images)

PHILADELPHIA, PA – DECEMBER 1: Head coach Chip Kelly of the Philadelphia Eagles looks on in the fourth quarter during a game at Lincoln Financial Field on December 1, 2013 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The Eagles defeated the Cardinals 24-21. (Photo by Rich Schultz /Getty Images)

By Spike Eskin

PHILADELPHIA (CBS) – There were two things that cheered me up after Sunday’s Eagles loss. First, the Cowboys blew it, as the Cowboys often do. Second, Chip Kelly’s day-after press conference was full of Kelly sarcastic goodness.

I need to be clear that this is a tribute to Chip’s sarcasm, and not a criticism. Philadelphia can be crazy, the fans and media, we can all be crazy, and the sarcasm is a little reminder of that insanity.

When asked how Kelly will handle Sunday night’s game if the Cowboys win:

We’re going to cancel the game.

When asked if he would keep track of the score of Sunday’s Cowboys game:

No, I’m in a vacuum.

When asked if he thinks the Eagles should have run the ball more:

We went for it on fourth and a half yard and we did not get it. So I’ll probably kick myself in the tail. We should have thrown a pass in that situation.

When asked if he considers himself a “pro coach” rather than a “college coach”:

I considered myself a pro coach eight times this year, and six times I haven’t.

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