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Philly Top Five Power Rankings: Thanks, DeSean!

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By Spike Eskin

PHILADELPHIA (CBS) – The time surrounding the MLB All-Star game is always the most quiet sports time of the year. Sam Hinkie is just fine with keeping it that way. Thankfully, DeSean Jackson noticed the need for news and said something awesome (stupid).

#5 Jason Peters Wins $2 Million

Jason Peters was using a Roll-A-Bout walker when he broke, and he re-reruptured his Achilles tendon. He decided to sue the maker of the product because, well, his Achilles is pretty important to him. This all seems like a fair use of the judicial system.

I just think it’s hilarious that a 350 pound professional athlete was using something called a Roll-A-Bout. It’s one of those things that you usually see advertised in the middle of the night during Family Ties reruns. Juicer, that thing that lifts elderly people up the stairs, and the Roll-A-Bout.

#4 The Sixers Coaching Search Rolls On

It seems that even though the Sixers have requested permission to interview what seems like 70 or 80 NBA assistant coaches, the job is down to either Brett Brown or Michael Curry.

I know it seems like a lot of blind trust to say “I trust whomever Sam Hinkie picks,” but it also seems like the most calm and rational response. He’s talking to everyone, and then picking the guy who he thinks is the best choice.

If the Sixers are paying a guy to make every basketball related decision for the team, it’s hard not to trust him to pick the right coach.

#3 Dom Brown and Cliff Lee Are All-Stars

Sure, Cliff Lee allowed a run. Sure, Dom Brown struck out on three pitches. But if I had told you at the beginning of the year that we’d be up in arms that Brown is not in the home run derby, and would be playing in the actual game, you’d have called me crazy. Or at least called me Meech or Lee.

I’m hoping for more Dom Brown All-Star appearances so we can see more Dom Brown in vests.

#2 A Dozen Teams Are Interested In Trading For Michael Young

In the history of Major League Baseball, has there ever been a guy more likely to be traded than Michael Young?

Buy or sell, win or lose, great prospects or terrible prospects, the Phillies essentially lose nothing by trading Young, who for some reason there is a market for.

#1 DeSean Jackson Says Stupid Things

I’m not going to give my review of DeSean Jackson’s new rap song (it’s terrible).

I am going to give my review of his comments on First Take.

First, even if DeSean Jackson believes that Michael Vick will win the starting job, how does it to him or anyone any good to say it?

Second, and more importantly, how are the Eagles “still a top five team” if they haven’t been a top five team for five years? Have the last couple of years just gone unnoticed by DeSean Jackson. I mean, he’s essentially gone unnoticed during those seasons so I guess it’s not surprising.

Honorable mentions: Wrestlemania could be coming to Philly, Cliff Lee’s All-Star ice grill, Tim McCarver sings Metallica

Follow Spike on Twitter @SpikeEskin

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