My Path To Motherhood
By Michelle Durham
My path to Motherhood was like many other aspects of my life…not an easy road to travel. After doctors gently told me that pregnancy would be difficult if not impossible to achieve…my husband and I sought adoption as an option. My co-host on the station where I worked at the time (not KYW)…shared my story on the air…and to my complete surprise, a radio listener pulled to the side of the road and called in. She just found out she was pregnant…and she was in a difficult position. I’ll never forget her words to me, “I love you, I listen to you every day…I want YOU to have this baby.”
Christian’s adoption was about as open as you get. His birthmother and I shopped and went to doctors appointments together. She picked out his first Halloween costume. I scrubbed in for his C-section. I was there to hear his first cry. He is the most incredible gift I’ve ever received…and then three months later…I find myself parked in front of an ice cream shop AGAIN. I’m there almost every day getting a chocolate milkshake…not knowing why. I visited my fertility specialist…and his secretary said, “We’re going to give you a pregnancy test…if it’s positive… I’ll come out and do jumping jacks in the waiting room.” I was in a room crowded with others…all hoping for the same thing…when low and behold she came out….and did jumping jacks…which prompted tears…not just by me…but by others there…because a victory for one of us…was a victory for ALL of us who struggled with fertility. Much to my shock…I missed almost my entire first trimester…and Caitlin was born 13 months almost to the day of Christian.
I mention this story for two reasons. I firmly believe that you eventually get the child you were destined to receive….and the moment you become a parent…you realize your life is not completely within your control. All I can tell you…is it has been an incredible journey…and raising children so close in age was and is not without its challenges. There was NO SLEEP for well over a year…as Christian did not sleep through the night for 6 months and Caitlin for 8 months….and I did not have a maternity leave with either child. Many of you have faced tough circumstances too… caring for a newborn…sleep deprived…wondering if you can make it through another day.
When my Doctor asked me the day I found out I was pregnant with Cait if I was going to be all right…considering I was going to have two babies within the year…I looked at him without hesitation and said, “Yes. Last year…I didn’t know I would ever have a child…and now I’ll have two. How lucky am I?” And I have been…truly lucky! I hope this post sparks the memory of the moment YOU learned you were going to be a Mom! And for those who have adopted…or had to jump through so many hoops to become pregnant…know that you are NOT ALONE. I understand…I’m on your side. I’ve been there too!